Another email notification hits your professor’s inbox. It’s you. Again. With another vague request for “feedback” on your 75-page draft that you sent at 11:58 PM. The one where you asked, "Thoughts?” We've all been that student. I certainly was at one point. But after spending too many hours waiting for feedback or in limbo about some specific research issues, I realized something had to change. Here are the strategies that improved my academic relationships and might just preserve your supervisor’s sanity, too.
Be specific about what you need
Have you ever observed the difference between asking your partner ”Where should we eat?” versus “Italian or Thai: which sounds better to you tonight, honey?” One question paralyzes with options; the other invites actual decision-making.
Instead, try asking your supervisor: “Could you review pages 12-15 where I discuss my methodology? I'm particularly concerned about whether my sample size justification is strong enough.”
The contrast is striking.
As a PhD supervisor myself now for several years now, I freeze when students just ask for general feedback about a draft. I have a lot of students and very little time. Don’t text someone “wyd” and expect to get back anything but “nm.” Technically that’s a response, functionally it’s useless.
I urge my students to maintain a mental checklist before sending anything:
- Am I asking about a particular aspect (methodology, theoretical framework)?
- Have I identified the specific section/argument I need feedback on?
- Have I explained why I’m uncertain about this specific element?
When you ask specific questions, you:
- Make it possible for them to give focused, useful feedback
- Demonstrate critical thinking about your own work
- Show respect for your supervisor’s limited time
Instead of a vague hour-long meeting filled with generalizations, you'll have focused 15-minute discussions. Your supervisor will respond within hours instead of days. Best of all, you'll receive three paragraphs of targeted feedback that actually moves your research forward. Not just vague comments.
Prepare before meetings
The difference between prepared and unprepared grad students is like the difference between a carefully curated playlist and letting your Spotify on shuffle during a first date. One shows thought and consideration; the other is just hoping for to get to third base without putting any effort into getting to first.
The same principle applies to advisor meetings. Coming unprepared wastes everyone’s time and signals a lack of investment in your own research journey. But showing up with a clear agenda and thoughtful questions?
That's how you turn a routine check-in into a powerful trigger for your research progress.
Before your next meeting:
- Write down your questions in order of priority
- Review your notes from previous meetings
- Prepare visual aids if discussing any data
- Bring a calendar to schedule follow-ups
I started creating a one-page “meeting prep” document with three sections:
- Specific questions (numbered and prioritized)
- Progress since last meeting
- Current challenges
This structured approach doesn’t just save you time, it positively alters the dynamic of your supervisory relationship. When you consistently come prepared with clear objectives and organized thoughts, you transform from just another graduate student into a respected colleague-in-training. Your advisor will notice and appreciate this level of professionalism.
Frame open-ended questions
There's an art to asking questions that invite meaningful conversation rather than yes/no answers that kill dialogue faster than mentioning your dissertation at a frat party. This is where many graduate students stumble. They ask questions that can be dismissed with a simple checkbox answer rather than sparking intellectual discourse. The key is to frame questions that demonstrate both your engagement with the material and your desire to mine for more. Think of it as the difference between asking someone if they like coffee versus exploring their thoughts on how different roasting techniques affect flavour profiles.
Instead of: “Is my literature review okay?”
Try: “Which parts of my literature review could benefit from more critical analysis of competing theories?“
The first question can be dismissed with a grunt and a glance at the calendar, while the second invites thoughtful expertise and meaningful discussion.
Some effective open-ended questions you can ask right now:
- How might I strengthen the connection between my theoretical framework and methodology?
- Which researchers in this area might challenge my approach, and how?
- What alternative interpretations of these results should I consider?
This shift in how you approach questions does more than improve the quality of your supervisor discussions, it will grow and show your intellectual maturity. I noticed this myself when my supervisors began treating me more like a peer researcher rather than just another student, who needed guidance. And it all came from learning to ask better questions.
Build a relationship that works for you
The way you frame questions shapes your academic relationship at its core. Thoughtful, well-phrased questions demonstrate respect for your supervisor’s time and expertise. You set the stage for a more collaborative relationship, where both parties feel valued. When you consistently show up prepared and engaged, your supervisor is more likely to reciprocate with increased investment in your success.
I’ve found that as my questions improved, so did:
- The frequency with which my supervisor initiated regular check-ins
- My supervisor’s willingness to connect me with their network
- My confidence in facing academic challenges
- The quality of feedback I received
Remember that your supervisor has likely supervised dozens of students before you. They can tell the difference between someone who’s putting in the effort and someone who’s expecting them to do the heavy lifting. Writing as an advisor now, it makes a world of a difference.
So before you hit send on that next email or walk into that next meeting, ask yourself: “Is this question showing that I’ve done my part of the work?”
If you’re consistently getting slow or no responses, the problem might not be your advisor. It might be how you’re asking your questions. Take my advice and transform your academic relationships to set yourself up for success.
